Lord of the Rings An odd little show
by Tears of Telperion
Summary: I was dead tired when I wrote this, therefore it's very stupid and pointless, and possibly funny. I dunno, R&R and YOU tell me!


Very stupid fanfic I did in the middle of the night, so do excuse it. It took me about two hours to write, therefore do not expect any magnificent fanfic. If you're expecting that, go read my good story. And, thanks to Mr. Kittlez for the idea!  
  
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And no, I don't own any of the characters, spoofs off songs, and so on, or stupid clichés used in this story belong to me, so don't sue.  
  
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"Gimli! Come on! The show starts in five!" Elrond screamed from downstairs, looking at the glowing green watch on his wrist. The dwarf came stumbling down the stares, his hot pink top hat covering his eyes. "Stupid elves! Can even fit a- whooooa!" He went barrelling down the stairs and landed at the elf lord/producer's feet. Tom Bombadil followed shortly down, grinning and helping his dwarf friend up. Elrond shook his head and walked off, looking for the others.  
  
Arwen, Eowyn, Goldberry, Galadriel and Rosie were all sitting at their mirrors, powdering their faces. "Yeah, like you really need make up Arwen, p'cha." The Shield Maiden turned singer said, curling her hair. "Yeah, some of us weren't born with the likeness of Lu-thi-en." Goldberry added, standing up and examining her waist.  
  
"Does this dress make my butt look big?" Rosie asked, causing the other girls to roll their eyes. "You're looking in my mirror again, that shows the future!" Galadriel exclaimed, jumping up from her seat. Rosie's mouth dropped open and she began to sob. "Oh my God! My future is being a blimp!" Arwen put on some cherry red lipstick and smacked her lips together. "Already for the show girls?" She asked, shoving a red shoe onto her foot. "I'm going to be fat!" The hobbit continued to say, until Eowyn pulled her up. "Come on! Get off your butt and lets get out there!"  
  
"Ha! My hair is so shiny!" Legolas squealed, grinning widely and flapping his long locks of hair around. The King of Gondor rolled his eyes, as a knock came on the wooden door. "Salon Selectives does wonders!" He continued to gloat, as Aragorn opened the door to his father in law. "THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO START AND YOU'RE NOT READY? COME ON! THE CROWD IS GETTING MORE UPSET THAN A BLOATED BALROG!" Elrond yelled and ran down the hall.  
  
"I've always said that dude has like, mental problems." Legolas said in the Californian accent he'd acquired after years of living in Hollywood with his millions of fan girls. "You're talking about the Lord of Rivendell, and my father in law." The elf stared at the former Ranger for a moment before smirking smugly. "At least, I bathe, right dog?" He said after a moment and opening the door again. "Let's go, dude, we're like going to be," He stopped to remember what he was saying. "Oh yeah, we're going to be late!" Aragorn sighed deeply at his idiot friend and walked out the door.  
  
"Elladan, Elladan, he does anything a spider can. Dun nana dun nana." The elf sang as he watched his spiderman dvd. Elrohir twitched every time he heard his twin's off pitch voice, as Glorfindel and Haldir played on their GameCube. "HA! I beat you again!" Haldir jumped up form the controller and began an odd victory dance in front of Glorfindel, who was glaring at him. "Would you idiots hurry up? Ada is gonna have out butts if we don't get on stage on time!" To demonstrate, he pointed at the sleek looking pocket watch around his neck. Elladan started giggling uncontrollably. "What is so funny?" Haldir asked, finally stopping his dance. "He said- he said butt!" He continued giggling, and turning off the TV while Glorfindel stood up. "Well boys, we're ignored in the movie, mostly in the books, and even on stage as we're just background actors! Ain't life great?" He said sarcastically. "Let's go, or his majesty will get his breeches in a knot."  
  
Gandalf and the infamous Saruman sat in their dressing rooms, smoking their pipes. "Glad you turned back to the good side!" Gandalf exclaimed; hitting his 'friend' a bit too hard, causing the old's mans dentures to pop out of place. "Uh, yeah. 'Good'" Saruman replied after his teeth were back in place, though looked insanely around the room. "Muahahaha, the yes Dark Lord of all the evil evilness of all evil evilly evil! I shall get revenge." Gandalf arched a brow at this wizard's constant mutterings. "Let's get going. Elrond needs our special effects for the show!" The two elderly men spent the next five minutes trying to get up out of their chairs, while everyone else was getting to the stage.  
  
Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin were already ready and pacing around the stage, and Bilbo was boring some of the little kids on the set with his old tales that just sounded like stories from an old man on too much medication by now. "Come now, Elanor honey, stop bothering the old coot!" Sam picked his daughter up who was waiting for the old hobbit to wake up and continue his tale of Gollum.  
  
Faramir and Boromir (who had been genetically cloned and brought back to life) were ultimately fighting over the keys to the punch buggy. "You idiot! I'm older, therefore I get it!" Boromir scoffed, glaring at his brother. "Indeed! I'm not the one who dies in the beginning of the second book!" Faramir retorted, smirking shortly after. "Fine, have the keys." He let go, causing Boromir to go flying across the room beside the door. Bad place to land, for a second later, Elrond swung open the door and just about knocked the poor human's tooth out. "What is this big stupid lump that's behind the door? I SAID THE SHOW IS STARTING IN FIVE MINUTES!" Faramir laughed and nodded, while his big brother tried to regain his surroundings.  
  
The crew finally got it together, and all met behind the curtain, as one could hear the crowd shouting. ""Ok, Arwen, Aragorn, take your places on stage! Goldberry and Tom, to the balcony. All hobbits I want in their suited houses, Eowyn and Faramir get ready to go on after Aragorn and Arwen." Eowyn and nodded and dragged her husband away. "And don't get into a make out session like last time!" Elrond called after them, rolling his eyes. Elladan, Elrohir, Glorfindel, and Haldir to the sides, Boromir I want to ready to jump out. Saruman and Gandalf I want front and center! Go! Come on people, places, places."  
  
The lights dimmed, and the 'Oops! I did it again' music started to play. "I think I did it again, I made you all believe, I hated the Ring." Saruman began to sing as the curtains opened. "Oh fools, fools. I still praise, the dark lord, even though he was destroyed yeah! Cause' that Ring, made me paranoid, and I still think that Sauron is ruling. Yes, I am insane now. Oops! I did it again, I became evil, and got Gandalf mad! But that don't matter. Cause' I'm better than him, and my ego is throooough the rooof. I, love, being bad."  
  
Before Saruman could start another verse, Gandalf jumped onto the stage and duct taped his mouth shut. The curtains closed again as the members of the show decided what to do with him.  
  
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Heh. Stupid eh? Okay.R&R anyway, and I'll deicide if I'll continue. 


End file.
